Update: After just a few months of reviewing this place, I went back only to find my favourite features are no more: the aquarium has gone, the kebab shop is now a Japanese restaurant and there’s less seating on the ground floor when you first walk in. In other words, while it used to be a gambling den that you could also hang out in because of its eccentricities, it’s now just a gambling den. *sigh*

Why on earth am I reviewing a gambling den in Burwood? Well, it’s mainly because I can’t help myself.

After all, this 24-hour mecca of sin has a built-in kebab shop, a wall-length aquarium as well as steps decorated to look like a cascading $50 note that lead to an Asian-inspired pokie area filled with fountains, ornate statues and a giant bowl filled with sweets to keep gamblers fueled. It makes Star City look positively understated by comparison.

I’m here with the svelte lady friend, who is the reason for the Burwood outing – having moved to the western burbs she now refuses to go back to the city, even for a drink. Then again, she’s also probably the only person on earth who considers the Townie in Newtown too hoighty toighty.

There aren’t exactly cocktails or a fine array of wines to choose from at The Burwood but there are a few Chinese beers on offer, so we grab two bottles of Zhu Jiang beer, which are just $3.50 each.

The svelte lady friend likes the beer and thinks it’s great value but I’m not a fan – to me it tastes like a low-carb beer, which in my mind is an abomination against mankind (incidentally, I once read a study that claimed beer isn’t fattening – rather, it stimulates our appetite and causes us to eat more – and while I don’t know how valid that study was, I’m happy to believe it if it means never drinking low-carb beer again).

But I digress.

It’s a Saturday night and after exploring the whole venue we’ve settled down in the ground-floor bar near the TAB area.

We can see part of the aquarium (and think of all the stories those fish could tell) as well as a long table filled with six guys and one attractive blonde. I ask the svelte lady friend if there’s a woman drought in the west but she’s too busy drinking her Chinese beer to answer.

As if the aquarium, the gambling area, the Chinese beers and the kebab shop weren’t enough to make The Burwood unique, there’s also a smoking section up the front that opens out onto the footpath, allowing you to see the hot rods burning up and down Burwood’s main drag as you smoke, drink, and let the fish swim by your side.

With all these features on offer I’m beginning to think the svelte lady friend is right in staying out west (this is a hell of a lot more interesting and fun than my local in the inner west) – although I’d argue the ornate fountains, $50 staircase and aquarium are a little hoighty toighty.

The Burwood Hotel, 121 Burwood Road, Burwood. Phone 9747 5200

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Now it’s your turn – how do you rate The Burwood Hotel?

The Burwood - Burwood, 3.0 out of 5 based on 2 ratings

 

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